The following appeared on WordServe Water Cooler in March.
Last night a friend contacted me to tell me about her step-mother’s new diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. This morning I received word a friend was killed in a car wreck. This evening another friend’s granddaughter’s baby is unresponsive following a seizure. It’s been an emotional day. But one reason these friends talked to me about their issues is that they’ve walked with me through my own.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re about to write or teach a spiritual lesson, you walk through circumstances that make you confront your own handling of said spiritual lesson? It happens to me almost every week. I teach a weekly Bible study class and I promise you, whatever the lesson is about, I face it during the previous week!
There is a good reason for this. It’s called authenticity. Nobody wants to listen to a Pollyanna who has never gone through tough circumstances preach about how to handle them. We all know this, but still it can be so easy to spout platitudes or quote Scriptures that seem to say everything will turn out okay.
The Right Approach
What is the right way to approach writing about suffering? Telling your personal story is a good place to start. Every one of us has faced some level of trauma or grief or physical suffering at some point in our lives. When we dare to talk about our deep hurts, it opens our readers’ hearts to hear the rest of our message because they feel a connection to us. We become real when we become vulnerable.
Therein lies the rub, as they say. It is terrifying to bare your soul to strangers. I submit to you that it may be the most difficult thing you ever do. It may also be the most rewarding thing you ever do.When I share my struggles with those I teach, an inner tension releases that I previously didn’t even realize existed. And the connections I make with my class members are priceless. A bond is created that allows for more receptivity on their part.
I need to add a caveat here. Some things cannot be shared in a public forum. When there are other people involved that might be hurt or embarrassed, we must keep the situation private. We might be able to refer to it in generic terms, but we can in no way include anything that would identify them. The only exception would be if prior permission is granted.
Readers don’t sit in a classroom with us each week and we’ll never know or hear about most of them. But they will listen to us when they read about how we’ve dealt with our difficulties. They will absorb our message and learn the truth we’ve shared when they know we aren’t just spouting words–that we have lived the truth of what we say.
Do you have a message to share that involves difficulty or suffering? How ready are you to be transparent with your readers?
By Kathryn Graves